back again; where it all started

Hello again. I'm back. Running into the arms of Ana. She's been waiting. She's waited while my ex boyfriend rant off with the girl he was cheating on me with from the day I left. She's waited while my current boyfriend can't figure out why I cry when we talk about how hard getting a visa is. 

And she doesn't have to wait anymore.

I remember, I think, the two things that initially sent me this way:

First, I went to see my grandmother when I was in my early teens, must have been. And the first thing said was "You're looking nice!" She sounded surprised. "I thought you might have gotten... big."

And then the first love. The first love asked me in all innocence, "Do your thighs touch when you sit down?" and I said why? "Well R and I were talking the other day, and his girlfriend's thighs don't touch and neither do mine or his, so I just wondered if that was an everyone thing or not, cuz it seems weird." And I started crying.

So here we are ten years later. The boyfriend has come to visit and gone away. I am now on a super low carb diet. I eat fat to burn fat. I'm trying to throw my body into a state of ketosis. At least for a few days. I need to change my size. I really do. I need to get thinner again.

My current training schedule is epic though, so that combined with new diet should help.  I'm up to 20+ hours per week. That should hopefully make a dent. Top pic is my flubbery horrible self. No thinspo there.

Stay strong and think thin my lovelies! 40 squats, 20 pushups, 90 situps, 50 inner thigh lifts each side. GO!

MY RETURN

Wow. I've been gone forever. Well, I'm back now and I really ought to be posting regularly again. I have a huge backlog of thinspo and even some personals updates.

I'm back stateside now. Missing the boy like mad. I've also decided that I no longer take public transit if I can avoid it, so I bicycle everywhere. I've been training up to six days/week, but not enough hours every day. I will make up for it over the winter tho.

No numbers updates until I make enough money get a new scale. I kinda destroyed my good scale (and I couldn't take it with me anyway) in the name of art. Right after I got back, I got weighed at Planned Parenthood and they told me 128lbs, which kinda makes sense. I wasn't really doing anything but living on couches and eating after a summer of lazing about. So, here's to hoping we're inching down under the 120 mark, or hovering around 125 due to increased muscle from all the biking. Amusingly, I've got a few pairs of jeans that fit better now than when I was last seriously thin. Size 27 Joe's are too big in the waist, as are size 27 Antik denim (and those don't have ANY stretch, like at all).

I've eaten way too much today as well, but oh well. Tomorrow's gonna burn it all off, plus I have an entire that I can pretty much fast through on my way up north after that. It's gonna work out and off. I can feel it.

And now! THINSPO! I can't believe I left you all without thinspo for so long. I'm hiding in the mix! None of you even complained! And, HOMEWORK: 200 situps, 200 jacks, any order, any situp.