i burned so many calories...

that i almost feel okay about how fucking disgusting many calories i've consumed today.

i've eaten 1295
i've burned 4802

not too shabby and i'll burn more soon when i got out for late night practice.
that means back on my bike, back to school, back to work for at least another hour or so.
but dammit, the more i work out, the more i eat. it sucks. i don't want to eat. i love that feeling of when i'm about to fall over, but this gig coming up is so important that i have to keep myself alive and not fall over. i can't hurt myself. after wednesday, i don'thave to eat another fucking bite. i think i'm to cut down until the first day of classes and then restrict to about 400 cal/day. then over labor day weekend, i'll fast. it will so work. i am excited about this. i feel week right now, even after a 150cal yogurt. that makes me happy with myself. i feel like less of pig.

not bad, but not good. i've had better days. but, at dance class, it was really hot, and i had my shirt rolled up and i can see my abs/organs again. i just want to get rid of that stupid uterus cushion. then i will have a flat, soon to be concave belly instead of that stupid little poochie bit that no amount of situps will seem to take away. god, dance is good for my ED. i'm surrounded by athletic thinsp. i've been tempted too many times to go up and ask them vague pro-ana questions. "Excuse, do you know ana?" or "Do you wear a red bracelet. I could have sworn i saw you wearing one the other. I remember it looked really nice on you." or something. i could never get away with that though.

the longer i type, the more i think i should go to bed... really soon.

skinnies to look at in the morning: