nope, not a princess

super mega thinspo binge! it's been forever since i've been back here. i weigh like a million pounds and i'm back up in the 6-8 size range. that has to change to 4-6 or 2-4 in a fucking month otherwise i will cry every day of europe. i have to lose at least 10 to compensate for i will gain while overseas. i hate that, but it happens every time i travel. i guess i'll have to find some great diet pills over there or something.

life, other than having my disorder seemingly vanish beyond return with no trace of hesitance left, is okay. the ex boyfriend drama is significantly less crazy and i'm getting along just fine without him. i'm just kinda bored with one night stands. i want a boyfriend again. i know who i want to date. both/either of them is entirely unavailable or hopelessly slutty or trying to make it work with the girl he's rampantly cheating on. polyamory is such an ugly. sigh. there is nothing i want more than to date the pretty photog... oh shit. they are both pretty photographers. hehe. i guess i have a type. i guess i want the short one with longish hipster hair as opposed to the super tall skinny one with a "flock of seagulls" do. alas, this story itself wraps back around to ana how badly i need her. i need to be skinny enough for this guys to want me to model for them. sigh.