Monday, February 13, 2012

121.0... funny how starving is so effective

Yay for starving. I'm doing a bunch of walking today and maybe some training way later if anyone's around. Then tomorrow I really get back to work. I have a presentation in two weeks and i'm doomed. It's really nice to have days where I just take diet pills and starve. I know that sounds terrible, but to have the luxury of doing so little that I don't need to eat at all is really nice. No boy around to say I'm dumb for "trying to be anorexic" or that I'm already skinny or my problems are too much to handle on top of his own... ugh. Why do people always talk about eating disorders as though no one around them has one and they are certain of this fact? Oh wait... in my case, it's because I'm too fat to have an eating disorder.

Think thin my lovelies and stay strong. 50 situps, 80 squats, and 100 jacks... GO!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

when the boy is away, starvation can stay

It's half term week from school. The boy is away for a few days. I have gained 2 lbs. That will not be the case much longer. I am fuelled by diet pills and green tea until he gets back. My calorie limit is set at 700 per day (i still have to train, just not all day). Diet pills are a ride had totally forgotten about. Just thought I'd check in and share my failure and post some thinspo. Now I'm going to do three workout .jpg's and then go running the very cold, very sunny day. In fact, I'll add the workout .jpgs so you can do them too!

Stay strong and think thin my skinnies!

Tuesday, February 07, 2012


Finally. An almost reasonable number. My next weigh in is tomorrow and I'm terrified that number will higher. I just want to be 120, because I know from there I can keep losing. I was so bad over the weekend, I didn't log anything since the boy was around and even though everything was stupid healthy, there was just too much of it. The .25 of an apple with some sultanas, walnuts, and cinnamon feels like a binge. I need to work so much harder today, but there's no studio space and my shoulder is fucked. I'd really like to be less for Friday, moreso than Sunday because I have a presentation in which I ought to be wearing very little on my flabby fat legs.

A progress pic is in here somewhere near the bottom. It's getting better, slowly. I'm so excited for the one-teens again. I want to feel that lightness that comes with the turning over of poundage. Just gotta drink more tea, eat less food.

I've gotten pretty good at hiding how little I'm eating around the boy. Not sure if this will work for you, but when we have anything with rice or noodles, I only get to have .5C of rice or one small chunk of noodles, but i can have as much spinach as I want. So it looks like I'm eating normally, but really I'm cutting my consumed calories in half every night, plus spinach burns more calories than it gives you.

Stay strong and think my skinnies. Sorry I haven't been about much. School is destroying me, body and soul. 2 minutes of plank, 100 jumping jacks for homework for my lovely readers. <3 to all 205 of you.