Tuesday, December 04, 2012

GM diet again, a rant

So I started the GM diet again. Day 1 was surprisingly easy. I managed to eat mostly melon. Only had to add a tiny bit of protein so I didn't destroy my body while I had to train. I have got to stick to it this time. I have a very good reason. I just need to be less. The feeling of control was so satisfying. I didn't even want to cheat. Tomorrow will be hard, but I'll be strong.

A rant: So there was this guy and we dated for a while, like years. I went away. He hooked up with this girl but I didn't care because we were open. I stayed gone, fell in love with someone else. He never told me that that one girl had become the girl. But they both told all of my friends that I knew about it. This thing started before I lost my heart to someone else. It shouldn't matter. But they conspired to lie to me and have my friends lie to me. And now every time I see them on the internet it breaks my fucking heart. I shouldn't care, but I do. And it sucks. And all of my friends still adore them and seem to ignore what they did to me. 

Oh well. At least I have control. I have ana. She's always there for me, whether I want her or not. And right now, she's one of the only things holding me together.

Stay strong and think thin my pretties. Homework: 200 jacks. 200 situps. Touch your toes.


Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry your heart hurts, darling. Be strong<3

WinterA said...

I hope you are doing okay now. Just to give you a heads up I am going to be going backwards and making comments on your posts so don't freak out.

I would be upset to. I mean it doesn't matter that you were in love with someone else at the time. For the fact that they lied, and your friends lied. That is hurtful.