protein shake w. green tea for breakfast
biking to class. then it's...
workworkwork
playplayplay
workworkwork
sleep.
i know i'll have to eat somewhere in that interim, but i'm not sure when or why. i have to for at least an hour today, as well as go to aerobics and practice. nothing like a hard workout to make sitting in the library feel like sanctuary.
same old story
- so_alone
- me. i don't see me, but you do. i want to see me as you do, or as you say you do. you humor me when you say i'm tiny? are you laughing inside when you describe my pitted hulk as skeletal? i want to be happy with me. it's like someone pulled the gauze from my eyes and i see now, how imperfect, how weak, how ugly i am now, and just how perfect i really was when there was so much less of me. The less of me that you can see, the easier it is to love what's left of me. Honestly, I don't step on scales anymore. I can't. I'll go too far over the edge. I measure my world in sizes. I am currently a US size 6-8, UK 10. My ultimate goal size is a 4. I want my good jeans to fit. I want my thigh gap. And I want to be thin.
1 comment:
areu really 118cm
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