Tuesday, January 17, 2012
the illusion of success
I thought I was doing so well. My bones felt sharper. I bruised more easily. But no. I bought a scale. Sure I'm weighing myself midday post meals and workouts and stuff, but still, we are not doing well. We are terrible and fat and awful and made of failure that can only be fixed by diligent starvation. I weighed in at an appalling 125lbs. I have gained nearly 2 pounds. But I've been netting in the negative for weeks now. Headdesk. I hate everything. Mostly myself.