Wednesday, January 04, 2012

things that confuse me

So I started using I'm not sure if it's making me fatter or not. I'm an athlete, like a real one, all I do is work out in some way or another since I'm in the circus. I told it how much weight I want to lose and how fast. It gave me a set amount of calories I could eat. I write in all my exercise and food for the day. The exercise adds more possible food calories to the amount I'm allowed to eat. And I usually come in about 700 under that number. BUT, it terrifies me that I'm eating so much at the same time. Like, it says I've eaten 500 calories already today. That just feels wrong. I know I need to burn more calories but since I've had two weeks off, I fucking hurt now (day 2 back in training) and I still have another 6 hours of physically demanding classes left of today. This of course ensures that I can eat whatever I damn well please, but that's no comfort to me at all.

And yet, yesterday for example, I had ton of food. But I also burned a fuckload of calories, according to the site. And I was still really under on my "allotted" calories. And it says this cheeky little message when you're done entering stuff for the day. "If every day were like today, you weigh ____lbs in 5 weeks." Yesterday, with all that food, if every day was like that... it said I'd weigh 108 in 5 weeks. I'm aiming for under 120 in a few weeks. But I would be so thrilled to hit under 110. That can be my next goal I guess. Ugh. I just want to be thin. And toned. And light. So that lifting all this hulk isn't so hard... for me or anyone else.

Stay strong and think thin my Skinnies! Hope you all got through the holiday bloodbath in one piece. Challenge of the day: do all the exercises in the jpg further down the page! and then 1 minute wall sit and one more minute plank!


pursuit_of_happiness said...

i was on something like that, and i hated it. i had to do it for one of my classes. i guess technicallyits right...esps if youre in the circus you should eat more but i know how you feel. it got to the point where i didnt put in my activities and just put in my food. that way i tried to stay under what they said to loose weight regardless of activity...good luck!!

Anonymous said...

I am also on myfitnesspal. So far I've lost 1.4 pounds. But I'm only a week and a half into it. So if you want to be friends there, my handle is "charlieisagirl".