post xmas hate-fest

i am disgusting. i have lost so many sizes and still no gap. i got through xmas without feeling too awful and no real binging happened either. but i felt gross enough to not want to have sex. i often feel too gross for sex. and my self-proclaimed nympho boything now tells me, VIA EMAIL that he typed while we were sitting in the same fucking room have a conversation, that i'm not fucking him enough and that his needs are actually kind of disgusting in the amount of sex he thinks he needs. i find this especially funny considering how quick a decent round with him tends to be. but that's why it's perfect and now i'm in this position to feel like i'm fucking up something good again. because i'm fat. i am disgusting. i don't deserve anything good. because i'm a vile cow and as long i feel gross because i am gross i'll keep ruining everything that's good in my life. headdesk.

long story short, i'm off to the gym, where maybe i can feel a little less gross. and after the gym, it's time to train some more.

i'm really homesick for my new home right now. i miss my room. i miss the loneliness of not having anyone because no one's there to have, instead of this local sadness that comes from having what i missed so much and not really wanting it anyway.

everyone is fat here

sorry for the long absence. I hav ethis internet deal overseas that kills my data limit so i can't upload all of the lovely thinspo you skinnies so need and deserve. but now i'm back home fore the holidays and everyone is fat and I am unattended. So massive photodump for all!

I feel gross and can't go to the gym because I'm too weird from jet-lag still. but soon! soon! like tomorrow morning. I've apparently lost a few sizes, according those that have seen me recently, so i guess that's a win. I only get two weeks off, so that's another win.

I'm still a disgusting hulk of fat though. So this post is as much for me as it is for you.

Stay strong and think thin. I'm still here my skinny loves. I haven't forgotten you!