it's 3am, i must be fat

back from my whirlwind world tour and back in school. fatter than ever. i just started the most agonizing pilates regimen, so that will hopefully help things a little bit. i just want to fit into a size four again in the next two months. that is my new target. easy diet (no stupid food, no binging) and burn more than I eat. So i'm really trying to burn a lot. dammit.

my size three jeans finally don't zip anymore. i keep gaining. i don't know what to do. my ass is just expanding exponentially. i guess i'll just keep trying. it worked once. i just have to keep trying. maybe i'll start bring agar with me again, slipping it into hot drinks to fill me up. sigh.