pennance post

oh god. i feel so disgusting. i was so good, all day long. i ate virtually nothing but fish and alcohol. and i got exercise. just not enough. and then i went out with a friend for cocktails. i was hungry, like shaking/nauseated hungry, so i ordered my second helping of calamari for the day and *so much self loathing* an avocado daquiri. it was so good, but it had cream in. the next cocktail sounded too good not to try, but it had cream too. i wish wish wish i could purge, but since i quit being a junkie, i can't make myself throw up to save my life. i think my insides already forced most of the sin out of me via below the duadenum distress. but still. ugh. wrong. once i feel slightly less nauseated, i'm going for a long long bike ride (read: in a few hours if i don't fall into a food coma first).

thus, a thinspo post to make me feel even worse and restrict really hard tomorrow and work extra at the gym. definitely upping the diet pill dose for tomorrow too. cuz damn, just no. ew. no wonder i'm so disgusting.