Saturday, August 08, 2009

"you're getting so petite lately"

i have to remind myself of what this hunger is for. friday is the day i have to eat like a normal person, otherwise, the pain is too fucking much. four days a week, i train/workout very very hard. and i restrict, a lot. friday is maintainence day and i hate it because the second i start eating, it feels like i can't stop. and then feel horrid and fat and like a terrible failure. i'm writing this to inspire me to restrict much harsher tomorrow than i otherwise would. being mostly out of money will help this endeavor.

i met a new boy to add to my harem. he's a total darkling and i think he's so fucking cute. he's the best thinspo ever too and i feel like i need to lose at least another 15lbs to even okay by his side. motivation is motivation, whatever form it may arrive in.

the title quote comes from a lady at a store that i shop at frequently. she looked me up and down when i walked in and said exactly that. "you're getting so petite lately." this is progress. again. finally. sigh.

now to go to bed before i put any more sin in my face.

1 comment:

morg-ana said...

you can do it. you can restrict. you're doing good working out and not eating so much. it's hard, but you're doing good. and you know you are when people comment on how you even look smaller.
stay stronggg. you can.

ps. love the pics :)