"you're getting so petite lately"

i have to remind myself of what this hunger is for. friday is the day i have to eat like a normal person, otherwise, the pain is too fucking much. four days a week, i train/workout very very hard. and i restrict, a lot. friday is maintainence day and i hate it because the second i start eating, it feels like i can't stop. and then feel horrid and fat and like a terrible failure. i'm writing this to inspire me to restrict much harsher tomorrow than i otherwise would. being mostly out of money will help this endeavor.

i met a new boy to add to my harem. he's a total darkling and i think he's so fucking cute. he's the best thinspo ever too and i feel like i need to lose at least another 15lbs to even okay by his side. motivation is motivation, whatever form it may arrive in.

the title quote comes from a lady at a store that i shop at frequently. she looked me up and down when i walked in and said exactly that. "you're getting so petite lately." this is progress. again. finally. sigh.

now to go to bed before i put any more sin in my face.