Sunday, April 04, 2010

sleepy chubs, bad dreams

it must be the melatonin i take to try to fix my schedule. i've been having terrible or just really strange and vivid dreams lately. it might be the impending panic of moving to a foreign country. i worked so hard for exactly this outcome, but I never expected it would actually work.

the boy is out of town for longer than planned and i miss him terribly. it's nice to have someone to vocalize stress to instead of out loud to myself in this empty apartment. just looking at the weather in my future hometown makes me ache like i miss home already.

so much stress is piling up. two large productions that i'm involved in are getting crazy. one show goes up in two weeks and the other goes up in late august. i have to train more than i have been because the program i'm doing in the UK demands all sorts of flexibility and strength that i'm close to having, but am not quite there yet. no matter how rest i get, i always feel tired. i'm afraid of how much i really need to be eating because i keep getting thinner now and i like it this way. sigh.

enjoy the thinspo. i know some of it is old, but they still inspire me.

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