Sunday, March 06, 2011

skinny jeans

So I had to go to this rock show this weekend. It was rockabilly themed and my friend insisted that I wear this pair of skinny jeans that she fits into so well. I cannot wear skinny jeans. I really can't, but she insisted I try them on. I had on two layers that i couldn't take off, and they still fit, these being UK 10 . The waist was so loose that I kept having to pull them up, but they still fit my thighs. Stupid trouble areas. I could almost feel accomplished, that people told me I looked hot and skinny out in public in skinnies, but I still can't forgive that part where my thighs make me two sizes larger than actually fits the rest of me. Alas, I couldn't get the jeans in the picture, but the bones on the top half are starting to get clearer.

In other news, intensive week wasn't as bad as I hoped and I stayed under 1500 calories with the exception of Wednesday, but there was so much adrenaline then that I must have twitched and sweated them all out.

I was pretty good this weekend, until today, when a boy that I slept over with insisted on getting breakfast and brought back croissants. I thought I was going to cry. Croissants and clotted cream, no less. Luckily, there was fruit too and some of the croissants were mini so I choked down 2 of the mini ones very slowly and nibbled at fruit. I flat out refused the cream stuff on calorie grounds, and he didn't react too badly. Phew. Nearly blew my cover.

Sigh. This week I can restrict harder again, keeping under 1000. I am getting smaller faster now that I'm on heavy restriction, but it takes a toll too. I am wrecked all the time. 10 hour days of physical training and conditioning 5 days per week is so hard. Last week I ditched a tumbling class because I thought my bones might break doing roundoffs. I know they wouldn't, but I was so tired and so weak. Not even hungry really, but just like I was made of rubber.

Ugh. At least I get to lay around today and not really eat that much. I did a little training but hardly anything really. Stay strong and think thin my lovelies. One day maybe it will be enough.


Anonymous said...

You mentioned tumbling...are you a gymnast? Sorry if this has already been answered, but I'm a new reader :)

Lillie Flower said...

You are so beautiful.

Agost said...

you're really pretty