Wednesday, April 18, 2012

gm diet take 2: veg and fruit day

So when you the "Healthy is the New Skinny" image in there with my thinspo, remember the irony of that pic. She's fucking skinny. Toned as hell, but not enough body fat to bleed regularly. She isn't healthy and lighting and photoshop probably did about as much work on her body and she does in the weight room.

Moving on. Doing the GM diet again this week. I'm not cheating nearly as much as I did last time, but I'm not sure that I'm losing any weight. I just feel tired all the time, but maybe that's my period. Tomorrow is banana day. I'm thrilled.

The boy is gone and I miss him terribly. I had a really sad and cruel dream where my dead lover was actually alive and picked me up in his car and we drove around my old neighborhood for a while. My final piece of work for school is all about starvation and grief and fighting off one and through the other.

Everything hurts, but such is the nature of my work and my life. I paid for this and I'm getting what I paid for whether I really want to or not. So every muscle is sore, my back hurts, my hands cane every time I climb or hold a bar. Perfect really. If I just keep working hard enough, I'll have control again and I'll be beautiful and thin by the time the boy comes home.

Stay strong and thin lovelies. 100 jacks, 10 burpees, and 1 minute plank....go!

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