been bad

i've been really bad lately. really fat. no time for the gym. insufficient sleep. the works. i purged on saturday (not so much as purged but puked everywhere as I was very drunk). then i could hardly look at food on sunday or monday. today my appetite isn't quite back either, but i ate way too much brie at a social thingy tonight. ew. fat. school is taking all my time.

and as for that dangerous little crush of mine? he took me to his place and made sure i didn't drown in my own vomit on saturday. nothing sexy. nothing sketchy. just a painfully sweet man being remarkable nice and looking me in the eye the next. sigh. he deserves better. so do i. sometimes, i think i might deserve him.