i've taken to running in the middle of the night for exercise. my gym is closed until Jan. 2, 2008. lame. oh well. there's a track right next to my new place, so i can run whenever i want to. i ran for over 2 hours in the past few days. i've been losing weight, despite binges like the Taco Bell of this evening and massive drinking on most nights. smaller and smaller clothes have started fitting again. i credit this to the small blue plates on which i try to eat every possible meal. they make everything look huge and certainly unfinishable.
the breakup is still ugly, with false hope trading itself for genuine anger every other night. so be it. love sucks. i'm quite drunk at the moment. i probably won't go running tonight. it's been a while since i've so hard that my abs hurt. that was a process that started last night. i love it and hate it.
tomorrow i might go bother my crush on the job with a posse of friends. we can all afford it, as long as i don't misbehave again. the last date was terribly awkward. i was so close to fucking him and i didn't, and now i can barely kiss him on the cheek. i hate this. i find little things every day that convince me to live for one more set of 24 hours.
at least i'm still losing weight. whenever i wake up tomorrow, i'm going running. for the rest of the day, i'll wear my ankle weights. i heard somewhere that wearing 1 pound on each ankle is like carrying 10 pounds on your back. my ankle weights don't seem so pussy anymore.
i really like the guy i'm persuing. we do a lot of the same things. we're both smart, but he's not painfully smarter than me, which is comforting.
i should go to sleep soon. enjoy the massive thinspo post. there will be more every day until i can clear out my hard-drive of all these images. love for all my skinnies!
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