Wednesday, April 15, 2009

thinspo post, since i'm too sore to do anything but type

ack. i just want energy today. i need to hit the gym. i need to get through rehearsals. i need to not be hungry. i need to enjoy the cold that I always fucking feel. i've missed that cold. the cold that says my body is failing. the cold that says i'm drinking enough water. my body just feels wrecked today and i know yesterday wasn't that hard. my muscles feel rusty. the voice of ana in my head tells me that this is good, sure. the more it hurts, the thinner i must be, the more control i have for not feeding that pain and instead beg for more of it. It doesn't change the fact that it hurts. It doesn't change the fact that this workout is going to be horrible. running my 3 miles today will suck. running long enough to stretch might have to be enough. perhaps tonight will mean water for dinner and extra time in the sauna for the calories i didn't burn.

i've gotten back into favorite ana snack. "taco salad". you chop up a bunch of lettuce, add some onion if you want. then add a tablespoon of salsa and a teensy dollop of vegan sour cream. viola. taco salad. the sour cream is for guilt, so i go running or do situps after it. it curbs the hunger pains pretty well.

and in more success news: the other day, I put on my non-stretch 7 jeans, the 27 waist ones. no muffin top. my thighs are still too fat to really be able to move while wearing them tho. but still, this is progress.

1 comment:

Me said...

Hi there!!
I´ve been reading your blog and I am impressed with all the exercise you do!!! :O
I really would like to see some before/after pic of you!!

I was wondering if you would like to join me.
I am aiming to lose 15lbs in one month (May).
we can set up an excersice and lunch schedule together and support each other.

My email is:

and my blog is:

Just let me know if you fancy the idea
I am looking for a thinspo buddy to get support and motivation :).

Thanks anyway, I love your blog and your thinspos!!!