Thursday, January 10, 2008

fat... and yet propositioned by many people

for some reason, my tubby ass is wanted by a few very powerful men in my town. that's creepy. they're old. i'm young. and not attractive... at all. but i am considered a "sex worker" because of where I dance. weird.

fat sex worker. that'd be yours truly. no purges yet. still can't work up the will. been sleeping too late to get to the gym and somehow still eating too much as well. luckily, i ran out of beer (almost) so soon i will be forced to drink only liquor. it's better for my calorie intake that way, but i hate liquor... except for jager. alas, even jager is bad news int he field of getting too drunk too fast. really bad things happen when i get too drunk too fast. i need to weigh far less for that to even be a reasonable outcome. for now, i just drink too much when i should have to drink a lot less to get that wasted.

i've been wearing the ankle weights everywhere for a few days straight now and i definitely feel the impact. the only place i won't wear them will be at the gym (where i'm told i should not run in them for the sake of my knees). i will wear them on the walks to and from the gym, but not while i work out. tomorrow, goddammit, tomorrow, i will go there. i will go and actually work out, in the gym. i will not be a hopeless fatass that sleeps til 4pm every day. fuck. i haven't even checked my mail for days now. fuckety mcfuck dammitall.

i haven't been drinking enough water. i will be hungover tomorrow if i don't drink some now. off to dream land for me, lovelies. enjoy the thinspo!

1 comment:

Rhieley said...

Love and appreciate the thinspo. Is that you in your avatar? It's a fab pic regardless.
Found it funny: you can't work up the nerve to purge, I can't work up the will to stop stuffing my face.
Best of luck.