thwarted...

so i have this friend who is super fucking skinny, raging eating disorder but she isn't pro-ana like me. and she really cares about people but she still has ways to both thinspire and hurt my concept of progress like no one else can. I finally felt thin enough to prance around in a bikini top and was like "look! i have abs and hipbones again". she comes up and pokes my stomach and goes "whatever. you look like a normal person." i almost cry. and she can tell. and proceeds to catch herself going "no no, it's a good thing that your aren't skeletal/ deathly skinny like you were a while back".... yeah like the last time i was happy. fuck her. i have worked out even harder since she said that. taken even more pills. eaten less. i will be as skinny as her one day. skinnier. and then i will hurt her back. tell her she finally looks normal. see her cry. bitch.

enjoy the thinspo. think thin my darlings.