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same old story
- so_alone
- me. i don't see me, but you do. i want to see me as you do, or as you say you do. you humor me when you say i'm tiny? are you laughing inside when you describe my pitted hulk as skeletal? i want to be happy with me. it's like someone pulled the gauze from my eyes and i see now, how imperfect, how weak, how ugly i am now, and just how perfect i really was when there was so much less of me. The less of me that you can see, the easier it is to love what's left of me. Honestly, I don't step on scales anymore. I can't. I'll go too far over the edge. I measure my world in sizes. I am currently a US size 6-8, UK 10. My ultimate goal size is a 4. I want my good jeans to fit. I want my thigh gap. And I want to be thin.
3 comments:
I am with you. There are so many people out there who love their lives and enjoy each day. Those are the ones who deserve to live. But not me. I feel as if I don't deserve this precious life with which I spend all my time depressed about absolutely nothing. Oh how I just want to go to sleep and never wake up...
Firstly you need to realise, if you haven't already, your 'perfection' is not perfection as a whole. It is only how you percieve it. Perfection for you is bone structure, true? Perfection for me is for a woman to be more rounded (not over weight though) not boney. Petite (short and small) is also good but once the lower weight barrier is broken it's the same as going overweight for me. You see yourself as a 16.6 BMI? You think it is 'perfection' but you will die younger than if you were at a more healthy weight.
Hi, if you can read it, please, do it...
Don't say that, because you are special althought you can't see it, never forget that.
If you need something or just support, write to me: lucyatthegym@live.com.ar
I have an ED too
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