Friday, March 30, 2007

apparently, i can't

i am the fatass of all time. 124.6 this morning. how does that even happen? am i just so dehydrated and sick that i'm bloating, or is what little good that goes into me just stuck in there? what the hell is going on.

no matter what, i'm still a size four in designer clothing. that makes my day. tomorrow is, of course, for being less fat. fewer opportunities for eating and hopefully feeling less ill will keep me away from stuffing myself like a goddamn cow. i have 28 days to lose at least 10 pounds. april ambition, here i come. i will work hard. i will restrict harder. i will do whatever it takes to be substantially less. if i have to drink a little booze to replace a meal every day, or live every day according to some crazy diet in between 4 hour stints at the gym, that is what i will do.


Fei_Yen_Kn said...

Heya. Sorry for intruding on your blog like this. I was ORIGINALLY just browsing for thinspo, but I ended up reading just about everything. We have a RIDICULOUS amount in common, and with half of your entries I could have sworn I'd written them myself. I only have a LiveJournal, but if you'd like, maybe we could be friends? You don't have to accept, but I guess I just wanted you to know that someone was listening!

Andy said...

I know you won't approve this, but, hey. I just wanted to say that many of the pictures you put up are not attractive. I know you think they are, but, really, they're not.

I was 'lucky' enough to attend a Milan Fashion Week show a few weeks ago. Some Russian designer. Please believe me when I say that the models were not pretty. They could have been, with a bit more flesh. And, unforuntaley, the dresses, which were very nice, really needed to be on someone who was not a sixe 0, but someone with a figure.

I read your blog because I am fascinated, but I don't understand how you can think that these models are anything like attractive, Please, please, forget this obsevivness about your weight.