fatness in color

i'm supposed to do a shoot tomorrow. fuck. i'm huge. i can't fix it. not by tomorrow. not by friday. my beautiful plans are fucked. sigh. all my muscles hurt and i'm fucking exhausted. i ate today too goddammit. i can't just blame this on being on the rag. this is pathetic. i won't be able to get to the gym before the shoot either. that sucks. i have to run out and buy small touchups to my costumes and then be ready to try hide how fucking fat i've gotten. i won't eat tomorrow. i won't eat until this weekend is over. it's the only way. i hope i can really do it.