if i could just go away, day by day

my five day cleanse pills had my guts all wibbly all day. lots of exploding. hopefully, this will bode well for the morning. somehow, i doubt i will weigh any less. i think this fructose is holding me at an obnoxious plateau. i'm still eating too much every day. i need to work on this. i need to get back to being a hunger artist. i need to bring thinspo with me everywhere and i can't anymore. even negative calories are too much. tomorrow will be full of excersise and if i just stay at the gym, i can log up to four hours there. i won't have time to eat. this will be the week that i become less. goddamn it.