this feels like starting over

i wonder if trying on the 26 waist jeans would reinforce eating less if i did it every day. i can put them on and even button them, and some would say that i even fit in them... but those people think muffin tops are hot. i don't muffin top too much over the 26s, but just enough to be disgusted and know that i'm fat.

122.4 this morning. far from acceptable. today will have to better. i hope that will be easier than i think it will be. timet to scurry off to school.