i went on an hour and half or so jog, with a with a little walking, and stopped on the way home for some grocery bits (extra calories to burn on the way home... only negative calories in the bag!). I cooked my omlette, but only after cleaning my stove top. I had time to really let my diet pills kick in and by the time my food was done, I was too nauseus from cleaning and waiting too long to eat to really finish it. And thanks to the diet pills, i feel full anyway!
i got dressed too fast this morning and didn't want to have to strip again to get on the scale, so weight update will come after the first day back at school. i will certainly have zero time to eat, but what little I do have to live on, I think might pack there from home. The caf' doesn't have as healthy of items as I would like them to.
same old story
- so_alone
- me. i don't see me, but you do. i want to see me as you do, or as you say you do. you humor me when you say i'm tiny? are you laughing inside when you describe my pitted hulk as skeletal? i want to be happy with me. it's like someone pulled the gauze from my eyes and i see now, how imperfect, how weak, how ugly i am now, and just how perfect i really was when there was so much less of me. The less of me that you can see, the easier it is to love what's left of me. Honestly, I don't step on scales anymore. I can't. I'll go too far over the edge. I measure my world in sizes. I am currently a US size 6-8, UK 10. My ultimate goal size is a 4. I want my good jeans to fit. I want my thigh gap. And I want to be thin.
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