i burned more than 5000 calories today. tonight i can eat for free. i am going to the gym tomorrow, of course, but tonight, i earned my fro-yo and pop tart. i won't feel like that in the morning, i feel like i looked good tonight and i worked out hard today and tonight. i will definitely do another hour tomorrow of "running on empty" first thing in the morning. i'll go for an hour walk and then come home, eat breakfast, take vitamins, and go to the gym. and, lucky for me, now that the big show is out the way, i don't have to eat to stay conscious, because i have nothing that i need to be "on" for. i'll still have to make flagrant displays of "look, i'm eating like a healthy person" but to much less of a degree now.
scratch that. i still feel gross. i'm still WAY under what my significant other demands that i report eat per day. he's the reason that i tried remission for a while. he's the reason that i have to be so damn sneaky now.
perfection to jolt me awake...
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