fat day fit

i worked so hard today. i had an apple for breakfast, a bowl of carrots, celery, PB, and raisins for lunch, and a salad for dinner. then i came home and ruined all my hard work with a bowl of miso and a clif nectar. i am a fatass. i have go the gym so hard tomorrow. i weighed 123 last time i checked. that's fatter. again. why? even when i'm good, even when I work so fucking hard.. it just never pans out. I need to lose so much weight. Five pounds by feb.1? not gonna happen now. ugh. tomorrow will be easier. more pills, more gum, more cigarettes, more water. i can do it. more caffeine... or something. fuck it. i'm going to sleep.