i think i held on to some waterweight this morning. i'm guessing 5L was too many. I feel kinda funny from that too. if i'm lucky and today goes well, then i'll wake up to 121. i've got either 9 days or til May 30th now to get back under 120.
we'll see tomorrow. i'll only drink 3.5 liters today at eat 800 calories. i can do it. salad will be my friend.
thinspo later. i'm late to class!
same old story
- so_alone
- me. i don't see me, but you do. i want to see me as you do, or as you say you do. you humor me when you say i'm tiny? are you laughing inside when you describe my pitted hulk as skeletal? i want to be happy with me. it's like someone pulled the gauze from my eyes and i see now, how imperfect, how weak, how ugly i am now, and just how perfect i really was when there was so much less of me. The less of me that you can see, the easier it is to love what's left of me. Honestly, I don't step on scales anymore. I can't. I'll go too far over the edge. I measure my world in sizes. I am currently a US size 6-8, UK 10. My ultimate goal size is a 4. I want my good jeans to fit. I want my thigh gap. And I want to be thin.
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