Friday, April 20, 2007

real tears

124.6. i have seven days to lose 4.6 pounds. that's all i goddamn want. this sucks. i had a diet coke for breakfast. i'm cabbing to school and then i'm going to the gym. hard. i've got energy drinks and if i really need to, i can have to liquids today with calories. but fucking nothing else. same for tomorrow and the next day. and even monday. just not tuesday. i have to eat something then. but not wednesday. not thursday. if i can effectivley hide it, i won't even need to eat on friday. certainly not saturday. sunday i'm pretty screwed for. but yes. there's all of next week. just fine, foodless. i need this so fucking badly. if this doesn't get better, i'll just fall back into pathetic SISH habits again and start purging again and and and and and dammit!

fuck it. don't think about. just go to school. and then the gym. and run whatever other errands there are. it's okay. it's okay it's okay. ANA TAKE ME BACK!!!

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